What followed was a question he had never expected to hear from this man. 'Ewan...after graduation...will you come...live....with me?' Ray's voice couldn't have been more halting or hesitant. 'You would want....what from me, exactly?' Ewan reached up and wrapped his arm around the man's neck, almost certain that Ray had pseudo-proposed, but, before he got his hopes up... 'This isn't your idea of a joke, is it? He felt a sinking sensation suddenly. Of course this was a joke. It would have to be. There's no way someone like Ray would want— 'No! Love, I—...just.' He huffed and opened his palm, catching Ewan's hand in his and slipping a ring on his right ring finger. 'I'm serious. I want you to live with me. I...I realise that this whole....thing...between us started rather poorly. I know what your attitude was then, and my own. But, we've both changed. And what's between us has changed.' Ray swallowed and dropped Ewan's hand. 'I'd like it to continue on as we have been of late.' Ewan was stunned mute. Ray fidgeted some and wrapped both arms around his lover—using Ewan's warmth to fuel his hope during this uncertain, anxious confession. 'You don't have to answer now. Just...think about it, will you? We've got some time yet until graduation...I just wanted to extend the invitation early.' 'You do enjoy playing with fire, don't you?' Ewan mused as he twisted the ring, a slight smirk upon his face as he leant back and met Ray's eyes, betraying somewhat his excitement before he kissed him deeply. That was all the confidence Ray needed at the moment. Their tongues danced together sensually and Ray moved his hand to undo all the work Ewan had done on his shirt only to have the young man pull away, breathless. 'Ray. Stop. Shower. Breakfast.' He panted as he spoke, ripping himself out of the man's clutches. 'Together?' 'Are you stupid?' >>>> 'He'd never give someone a ring, Ewan. Not unless he was damn serious.' The deputy headmistress met his eyes. 'The real question in this is what do you want?' 'I...' Ewan stopped. 'My wants and desires an insignificant, really. Because sometimes...sometimes one person's pursuit of happiness can cost another person's life.' His eyes were shadowed, gaze directed inward, as his brother unravelled before his eyes. 'Therefore, I do not want. I do not...desire. Rather, I merely am.' If he had learned any sort of truth yet in his young life it was that happiness was—at least for him—always unobtainable. 'Merely being does not seem to be the most productive or desirable existence.' Ewan shrugged as if completely indifferent. 'Truly, Ewan, what do you want?' Ewan grimaced at her and in that small expression she could see years of suffering under the weight of his guilt, his yearning, and his self-loathing. She could never had expected to see this much pain in one of her students. He blinked and his expression shuttered again, blank behind the golden orbs. 'I'll leave that speculation to you, shall I?' The door closed quietly behind him and the deputy headmistress found herself finally contented with their relationship. It was clear to her now that Ewan was no child. >>> 'Many of you will not recognise me, just as I know very few of you. I was—and am—a 'nerd', as some would say, and unless you have frequented the library or the chemistry lab, you will not know who I am. Naturally, when I received the request to give one of the valedictory speeches, I was understandably confused, especially given my penchant for causing trouble.' His voice was teasing, and there were a few scattered laughs among the crowd. 'But then, as I began seriously considering what I would say to you tonight, I considered that perhaps I was chosen to speak tonight so that I may impart upon each of you a lesson I have learned which many of you have not had the bad luck to have learnt yet.' 'The few of you who do know me know that I place no credence in Fate or Destiny. I had long thought that my path in life was set, that I could do nothing to change it: I would school myself, indebt myself to a home, marry, and produce offspring, and build that white picket fence that separates us all. These are the goals that society burdens us with, but what are the returns?' He stopped, letting them think. 'Our society is built around separation. Segregation. Class distinction. Our main concerns are wealth and material happiness. Individual achievement. I used to think I wanted it all. I was once one of the pawns in this great experiment. But it is very jarring to have your belief system crumble, and it takes a good deal of effort to find a new one that will serve you well. And my most difficult lesson was that none of us will find happiness alone.' He let that sink in. 'When I transferred here, I was miserable. My world had been utterly destroyed. And I let that destroy ME. You will remember, I'm sure, what a troublemaker I have been these last several years.' He said the last with a wry smile. 'But I am a far different person now than I was. I have grown so much during my time at this school, re-evaluated my beliefs and plans for the future, and begun to learn how to live successfully, happily. Our paths into the future are not set, my friends. Look around the room. Look at your neighbour. This room is filled with people who have been helping you change, helping you grow, helping you become what you are today. And you will be glad to know that we, with the help of all those around us, are the creators of our future.' 'So, I urge you to not let yourself be sucked into the expectations of society, of you parents, of your friends. Be the human you want to be. Do what you want to do, and enlist the help of others as you go about building your future, helping them in turn as you do so. There are many people in this room who have done and will help you in your futures as you progress. Do not allow the pressure of our individualistic society to craft those metaphorical personal barriers we could all do well without. Do all of humanity a favour and leave yourselves open to the experiences and friends that are ready and willing to come into your life.' 'When you give your mandatory applause at the end of my speech, I ask that you applaud, not for me—for I have, regrettably, done very little for all of you in my years here—but instead give your well-deserved applause to those in this room who have helped to change your life, who have helped you to grow into the well-prepared individual you are now. These may be teachers, other students, parents, family or friends. Let your gratitude in its sincerity be heard by all.' 'We will go far, friends, if we leave ourselves open to experience life with those around us. If we keep ourselves unburdened to follow our every dream, we can and will begin our journey steadily down the path we have done or will yet choose for our futures. Where you go is up to you. Just know that you will always have company, if you will only look behind you and accept that friend's offer. Thank you.' Ewan bowed slightly and let the applause follow him to his seat behind Ray. He knew, unfortunately, that his message had been likely lost amongst the idiot brains of his peers, but perhaps his subtle intent might not have been lost on the headmaster. 'The 1987 graduating class of Suffolk Academy, ladies and gentlemen!' The applause from the parents grew louder as the students queued to receive their certificates. Every student shook hands with the headmaster at the end of the row, and he always gave them any last parting message he thought they might need, saying things like 'Just remember to keep your shirt tucked in', 'Didn't expect this day would come, did you?', or 'I expect great things from you' to those who deserved sincere praise. Ewan queued with the few students who were participating in the proceedings after all the rest had gone through, twisting the ring around his finger nervously. He had his answer. Now, all he had to do was tell Ray. When he was in position, he met Ray's eyes, which were unreadable to all but Ewan. Ray didn't seem to hold much hope for them any longer. That was mostly Ewan's fault, he accepted. His avoidance of the man whilst he'd been sorting out his feelings had probably sent Ray the wrong message. Pain sparked in those dark orbs as Ray offered his hand and spoke softly, though quite sincerely. 'You've made me proud. Keep up the good work.' Ewan did not take the man's hand, instead he cast his eyes down muttering a short, unfiltered query, the remaining bits of his insecurity rising to the occasion: 'Have I?' Ray dropped his unshaken hand and squeezed Ewan's shoulder, as physical affection as he thought was proper to show in public. 'Of course you have. You said yourself how much you have grown, and you were correct. You have become a wonderful man, Ewan. I'm glad to have been able to support you these last few years.' Ewan's hand covered the one on his shoulder and Roy could feel the coolness of the ring he'd given Ewan. He still wears it, perhaps... 'I'd like to have your support in the future, if I may.' Ewan met his eyes, challenging him to rescind his offer. Ray had no plans to do any such thing. 'And I'd like very much to support you along your own path.' Ray smiled at him, filled with elation and relief, and Ewan was not about to keep their lips separated any longer. 'Ewan, you—mmph.' Whatever Ray had planned to say in response was lost in their short kiss—one that was long enough for the deputy headmistress to begin a slow clap that made several people stop congratulating their peers and turn their heads, intrigued. When they saw the two entwined on stage, another round of applause and cheering began. The men broke their kiss and simply held each other, at peace, and ready to start down that path they were determined to walk together. END