4. Unbiased Thought “Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.16 When we experience success, we must make sure that it doesn’t change us—that we continue to maintain our character despite the temptation not to. We lose very little by taking a beat to consider our own thoughts. Is this really so bad? What do I really know about this person? Why do I have such strong feelings here? Is anxiety really adding much to the situation? In fighting biases and preconceptions: “Ask yourself: “What haven’t I considered? Why is this thing the way it is? Am I part of the problem here or the solution? Could I be wrong here? Be doubly careful to honor what you do not know, and then set that against the knowledge you actually have.” The first and greatest task of the philosopher is to test and separate appearances, and to act on nothing that is untested. “Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.” — Epictetus, Discourses, 2.17.1 “Every man I meet is my master at some point, and in that, I learn of him.” — Emerson “Don’t be a person of too many words and too many deeds.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 3.5 “Do away with the opinion I am harmed, and the harm is cast away too. Do away with being harmed, and harm disappears.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.7 Not good or bad, not colored with opinion or judgement, just are. Your attention is one of your most critical resources. Don’t squander it! To be rational today, we have to do just three things: First, we must look inward. Next, we must examine ourselves critically. Finally, we must make our own decisions—uninhibited by biases or popular notions. When you catch an elbow or an unfair blow today, shake off the pain and remind yourself: I’m learning. My sparring partner is learning too. This is practice for both of us—that’s all. I know a bit more about him or her, and from my reaction, they’re going to learn a little bit more about me too.” The more you question these scripts and the more your subject them to the rigorous test of your education, the more you’ll be your own compass. If your know what you believe and why you believe it, you’ll avoid poisonous relationships, toxic jobs, fair-weather friends, and any number of ills that afflict people who haven’t thought through their deepest concerns. "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius The Discipline of Action 5. Right Action A Stoic has not uniform and resembles no stereotype. They are not identifiable by look or sight or sound. The only way to recognize them? By their character. When you catch yourself wanting to condescendingly drop some knowledge that you have, grab it and ask: Would I be better saying words or letting my actions and choices illustrate that knowledge for me? You will only get one shot today… When someone asks you what you did yesterday, do you really want the answer to be ‘nothing’? “Reflect that you ancestors set up those trophies, not that you may gaze at them in wonder, but that you may also imitate the virtues of the men who set up them.” — Seneca, Moral letters, 98.13b Our intention is not to be thanked or recognized, but to help and do what we think is right. Appreciate and take advantage of what you already do have, and let that attitude guide your actions. In our own journey to self-improvement, one never arrives. The sage—the perfect Stoic who behaves perfectly in every situation—is an ideal, not an end. How you handle today is how you’ll handle every day. How you handle this minute is how you’ll handle every minute. “Philosophers warn us to not be satisfied with mere learning, but to add practice and then training.” — Epictetus, Discourses, 2.9.13-14 What if, when it came to your reading and learning, you prioritized quality over quantity? What if you read a few great books deeply instead of briefly skimming all the new books? Today, not tomorrow is the day that we can start to be good. What is the more production notion of good luck? One that is defined by totally random factors outside your control, or a matter of probability that can be increased by the right decisions and the right preparation? Don’t spend much time thinking about what other people think. Think about what you think. Think instead about the results, about the impact, about whether it is the right thing to do. Evaluate what you are doing, why you are doing it, and where accomplishing it will take you. If you don’t have a good answer, then stop. 6. Problem Solving Reverse Clause: If we can’t do this, then perhaps we can try that. And if we can’t do that, then perhaps we can try some other thing. We have a choice: Do we focus on the ways we have been wronged, or do we use what we’ve been given and get to work? It takes courage to decide to do things differently and to make a change, as well as discipline and awareness to know that the notion of “Oh, but this looks even better” is a temptation that cannot be endlessly indulged either. If they can do it, why can’t I? Whatever happens, don’t add angry or negative emotions to the equation. Don’t react for the sake of reacting. Leave it as it is. Stop digging. Then plan your way out. Will you hear the wisdom of the world or drown it out with more noise? If you need help, comrade, just ask. Let’s not wish we could turn back time or remake the universe according to our preferences. Not when it would be far better and far easier to remake ourselves. The next time you face a political dispute or a personal disagreement, ask yourself: Is there any reason to fight about this? Is arguing going to help solve anything? Why do the wise have so few problems compared with the rest of us? First, the wise seem to manage expectations as much as possible. Second, the wise always consider both the best and worst-case scenarios. Third, the wise act with a reverse clause. How you handle even minor adversity might seem like nothing, but, in fact, it reveals everything. Hold yourself to a higher standard but not an impossible one. And forgive yourself if and when you slip up. Every impediment can advance action in some form or another. 7. Duty Do your job today. Whatever happens, whatever other people’s jobs happen to be, do yours. Be good. “The task of a philosopher: we should bring our will into harmony with whatever happens so that nothing happens against our will and nothing that we wish for fails to happen.” — Epictetus, Discourses, 2.14.7 If doing good was easy, everyone would do it. The dates, the names, the places—they hardly matter. What matters is the moral. We’re not trying to ace tests or impress teachers. We are reading and studying to live, to be good human beings—always and forever. Whatever humble art you practice: Are you sure you’re making time for it? Are you loving what you do enough to make the time? Can you trust that if you put in the effort, the rest will take care of itself? Those who pick things up quickly are notorious for skipping the basic lessons and ignoring the fundamentals. Don’t get carried away. Take it slow. Train with humility. The answer to the question “Why did you do the right thing?” should always be “Because it was the right thing to do.” Just as you must not abandon your new path simply because other people may have a problem with it, you must not abandon those other folks either. Don’t simply write them off or leave them in the dust. Don’t get mad or fight with them. After all, they’re at the same place you were not long ago. The foundation of a free country is that the freedom to swing your fist ends where someone else’s nose begins. Forgive them; they are deprived of truth. They wouldn’t do this if they weren’t. Use this knowledge to be gentle and gracious. “Whenever disturbing news is delivered to you, bear in mind that no news can be relevant to your reasoned choice.” — Epictetus, Discourses, 3.18.1-2. “Some die on the first rungs of the ladder of success, others before they can reach the top, and the few that make it to the top of their ambition through a thousand indignities realize at the end it’s only for an inscription on their gravestone.” — Seneca, On the Brevity of Life, 20. Stoic joy comes from purpose, excellence, and duty.